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P-PAMda
🐌🌱 aspiring comic artist/maker ΰΉ‘ I draw OCs and what I like ΰΉ‘ SPA+ENG ΰΉ‘ cartoony art entuthiast 🌱🐌

πŸ’€πŸ„cows siesta spotπŸ„πŸ’€

Joined on 6/23/21

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Update from a wannabe artist

Posted by P-PAMda - 3 hours ago


Hi, muy buenas!


First of all, thanks you all so much for your patience. I just wanted to be honest for a little and tell a bit about whats going on in my head. Nothing serious, you can skip this if you don't feel like reading posts today huahua


TL,DR: I intimidated myself from being an artist, and I'm expressing how I feel about this silly situation



I'm a little scared of drawing at the moment (a "little", but that little is the size of a full set of stairs, and I'm just a small ant looking at it from the bottom)


I don't know why or how but I intimidated myself from drawing anything, even just for myself. You know when you look at your art and you're not happy with it, or when you miss drawing like you used to in the old times? But ALSO forgot how to draw, AT ALL. Well, I'm on that spot.


I'm battling a little with calling myself an artist. I don't even have that many drawings on my gallery, and I'm not drawing at all lately because of that feel.

I think it started when I started studying. Im studying to get a "real job", so my head says "why do art? its gonna be useless" and I know its a lie made by that primal deranged monkey in the brain, but I find myself at this spot where I intimidated myself from doing anything LMAO


Its sad because I do not wanna quit, but I'm very scared and fighting with myself.


Chances are if you're reading this you are, first, very cool, thanks for reading my babbles. And second, someone that follows my newgrounds. So why I'm typing all this for yall to see? Im sorry, I don't wanna put down your mood or anything like that. I'm mostly just sharing (oversharing) why you follow a account that post so little art, and I apologize for it. 1k is a real big number, I don't even know how I got to this point to be honest.


I like being transparent and honest, and these days drawing do not feel like walks in the park anymore. It's easier when you draw for someone or for something. So I hope to join events to get the rust off. Maybe I just need that.


I'm not sad, just a bit defeated and with a pinch of hopelessness on the side.


But even if I feel like a tiny ant, I still have all my legs. So with time I hope to climb, slowly but steady, those stairs.



OVER-


Have a nice day if you read this!

I'll be crossing my fingers to come back and be artsy!


iu_1432067_9471589.webp


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Comments

One time, i had these thoughts, not being happy with it, and missing drawing like before.

That's called "imposter syndrome", so i drew imposter syndrome saying these stuff and i saw it was ridiculous. It's like hearing a menacing scary voice, and then removing the curtain, and it's just little tiny creature.

And for "missing drawing like before", i just think that with new knowledge, it's normal to feel like it's "getting worse", because we're actually "recalibrating" our our new knowledge with our skills. It's not getting worse, just different.

As for studies... well... I can't say much because I hardly work/study lol

Your art is very beautiful! :)

Bless you for taking the time on writting this useful comment, I need to draw my impostor syndrome getting kicked to smitherens!

Bless your kind words <3

Honestly i can defo relate to those feelings, even down to the "maybe i should quit art bc im getting a real job". Imposter syndrome can be such a pain

I do hope you keep drawing tho, bc youre one of my fav artists on ng <3